Makes you cough and try to get it out.. :)

I just needed to get my emotions out. *Warning this is a post regarding my feelings, if you are only interested in what's going on in our lives or Brad's crazy antics feel free to stop reading now* Well I may have lost my entire auience but I can't focus today and I think maybe jotting down what's racing through my mind will help. ok.. go

So I'm so grateful for facebook and the opportunities it gives me to keep in touch with old friends and see what they're up to. But lately the things that a few of my friends are up to aren't really all that great. It's hard growing up in Utah where almost all my friends were members.. actually the few that weren't just joined the church, how ironic. It's so hard to see good friends slip away from the church and delve into a life of sin.. It made me realize that in general it is sooo much easier to give into sin that deny our selves. I know I fall into that category most of the time. But I have the tendency to think too much and most of all care too much. When I realized how these people I cared about were living it made me want to cry. I often don't do what's right but I'm trying and I'm blessed to be able to come home to a safe place where the spirit resides and know that my family and friends and most importantly Brad love me. I'm really grateful for my parents and the leaders I had that helped me to gain a testimony while I was young. If it had been different I know myself well enough that I wouldn't have chosen to live the way I do now. And I'm so grateful that my parents gave me freedom to make my own choices it helped me to realize that the gospel is not restrictive but it protects us from the things that cause us misery and immense pain. I hope my friends learn that sooner than later. And I want to commit myself to doing better and being more grateful for the light that I do have.